#because i believe in the theory that his asshole of a father used his lighter on them

[bluepopofanarts]

Here we go again, suffering for another round to this masterpiece of a game !

[lugubrious-poltergeist]

Investigation

Virgil has always been into conspiracy theories and was the first to ask if the house was haunted, he asked one day after one of Dee’s ranting about some the weird stuff happening in the house. Dee had brushed it off at first, but the night the ghost knocked out a burglar, Dee called and started seriously asking Virgil questions about the supernatural of the invisible verity. Virgil was terrified for their friend, because 1) a burglar could have killed him and 2) just because the ghost seemed harmless doesn’t mean they are. So of course Virgil sends Dee links with information creatures that fit what could be haunting his house (which Dee sent to his father) and starting looking into the history of the house. It takes two and a half long anxiety filled weeks before they finds a promising lead from 22 years ago. A missing person’s case where a fifteen year old boy went missing, no leads were conclusive and the case went cold.

“The kid’s name was Remus, says he had a twin that was put into foster care because their father was shown to be abusive and charged with child endangerment and in jail for 3 years.” Virgil clicks their tongue, “I personally think the dad did it, but there was no solid evidence and the twins would apparently sneak out often to friends’ houses.”

“So I could have some dead kid in my house trolling the shit out of us?” Dee sighs into his phone, his mind running over the information his best friend just gave him. “Where was their mother? Never mind, doesn’t matter. It just means the possible reason, if this ghost or rather poltergeist-”

“They are rather docile if they are a poltergeist, hasn’t even touched either of you” Virgil interrupts, “It’s common for poltergeists to hit, pinch, and bite people.”

“-Is this Remus,” Dee continues forcefully, “then he could be more active now that someone the same age as him when he died and a single dad moved in. The ghost does tend to be meaner to dad than me now that I think about it.”

“We should ask your dad if we can buy a ghost box and see if he’ll be chatty the next time I stay the night.” Dee can literally hear Virgil's nervous energy and can imagine how they’re probably chewing their lips raw in worry. He quickly waves off the thought, not wanting any “gay thoughts” about his friend when he’s quite aware his scars and asshole personality aren’t boyfriend material , especially for someone as wonderful as the extremely attractive worry-wart.

“I’ll definitely ask. Send me some reasonably priced ones to show him. I don’t think he’ll spend a lot of money on something like that.” Dee pauses, hearing the enby typing, “Don’t worry too much about it. Worst case scenario we make one, just have to make sure your parents don’t find out. I still can’t believe they tried to exorcise you when you came out as X-gender.”

Virgil mumbles bitterly in Japanese before saying in a lighter tone  “I found a few options to show your dad. Not sure how well they’ll work though. Plus your ghost may not wanna talk, just be your quiet protector.”

“Something tells me they won’t be, but I guess we’ll see.” Dee can’t shake the foreboding feeling he gets before changing the topic to a chemistry homework problem he’s having trouble with, hoping Virgil could help even though they both struggled with the class.

[bluerosesburnblue]

Hey, im just trying to read through alot of your debunking stuff, you mentioned in one of them how they completely misrepresnt and get Riku's character wrong. Could you maybe expand on that and why you think they misintepret their own personal Jesus?

I’ve actually already talked about a few of these in other asks!

Here’s where I talk a bit about how I think that they get the evolution of Riku’s promise wrong. It’s not about Riku coming to understand that he has one, true person that he cares about, but about him growing a sense of empathy for people that he barely even knows (also includes parts of his relationship with Kairi that I think they’re wrong about)

I’ve also talked about how, while Riku may be a well-meaning guy, he’s absolutely terrible at expressing himself and has a tendency to accidentally put others down. He’s not suave, he doesn’t have all the answers, and he’s just as prone to mistakes that hurt others as anyone else

I think the biggest problem I have with the theory’s characterization of Riku is that it fails to acknowledge how he was in KH1 (and CoM and Days to an extent) in any capacity. Now, granted, I haven’t read the “Riku is the Light” section yet, which is where I imagine that most of this would be

But Riku was an asshole in KH1. Like, a huge dick. Sora’s shown being buddy-buddy with the other island kids, but Riku keeps to just himself, Sora, and Kairi. He’s ambitious and kinda selfish. He actively flings their entire island into the Darkness just to escape it and only really cares about taking Sora and Kairi with him. He doesn’t really care about his parents or even how his best friends would care about leaving theirs. And when he’s forced to live with the consequences, he hates it. He hates that Kairi lost her heart because he opened the door, he hates that Sora’s the one who got the Keyblade from it, and he hates that Sora made new friends while he was stranded and his jealousy over that leads him to jump deeper and deeper into the Darkness in an effort to get what he wants out of his actions

Because by that point he still hadn’t learned his lesson. He still doesn’t believe that he was wrong; that it was just circumstance that hurt Kairi and Sora who betrayed him. And he keeps being like that until his desperation to be right and do right by himself leads to him allowing Ansem to possess him and then he’s forced to watch in horror as Ansem uses his body to take it too far

From that point on, he does everything in his power to really make it right. And Mickey is the biggest part of that. When Riku gets kicked out of his body it’s Mickey who offers a way to make it up to everyone. It’s Mickey who stays with him until DiZ pulls him out of the Realm of Darkness and it’s Mickey who keeps sending Riku magic projections from the Realm of Darkness to help guide him on the path of redemption while Riku struggles with the remnants of Ansem. It helps no one to ignore how central Mickey is to Riku’s development (and also how much Riku effected Mickey, like his views on Darkness)! Mickey offered Riku support when Riku was at his lowest. There’s absolutely no way that Riku doesn’t deeply love Mickey like an apprentice would their master or like the weird mouse adoptive father he never expected (there’s a reason that it’s Mickey who runs to him at the end of KH2 while Donald and Goofy run at Sora)

His relationship with Mickey also shows how far he’s come from KH1. He was jealous of Sora’s relationship with Donald and Goofy because he thought it was “replacing him.” Now he can respect that you can love your new friends as much as you do your old ones

He also gets very self-sacrificial. Once he meets up with Mickey at the end of KH1 and realizes what he did wrong, he sacrifices himself for both of his best friends. It shows that he’s already come a long way from when he forced them to lose their home and families at the beginning of KH1. Now his actions are bringing them back. This escalates, though, at the end of Days when he forces himself into Ansem’s form just to wake Sora up. And since Sora’s awakening comes at the expense of Roxas and Xion’s lives, it reinforces the self-centered “only the people that I care about are worth saving” thing, though he’s lighter on it now. He ends up letting Xion choose on her own, though he still does his damnedest to convince her to merge with Sora. He expresses regret over what they’re doing to Roxas. But they still aren’t Sora, so he doesn’t choose them

Being forgiven by Sora and Kairi in KH2 is the big turning point for him. It’s the first time they’re all together again since just before Destiny Islands fell. He hasn’t had the chance to see what they really think of him and what he’s done yet and he avoids them because he didn’t feel like he’d made it up to them yet. Hadn’t sacrificed enough to make everything what it was again. And now here they are telling him that he doesn’t have to hurt himself for them. They just want him home with them

And now that they’ve forgiven him, he just has to forgive himself. That’s what his story in DDD is. He’s spent a year struggling to get rid of his darkness, the biggest sign of his failures in KH1. He only regained his real form again on a fluke due to Ansem the Wise’s machine. He hasn’t done anything to prove to himself that he’s been redeemed. And then he does. He saves Sora without having to sacrifice anyone to do it, he’s named a master, and he’s told point-blank that the darkness can’t hurt him anymore by the guy who used it the first time around. He’s finally the best version of himself

And I think that’s why he’s kinda flat in KH3. He’s already gone through this grand, sweeping arc and all that’s left to do is rescue the people who helped him get there, like Aqua and Terra. Aqua’s someone he feels especially indebted to

So overall, Riku went from extremely cocky to self-deprecating to genuinely humble that occasionally lapses into “pulling rank” because he’s still very protective of others and has only just come out of the mindset of “I can’t make it up to them if I don’t sacrifice enough for them.” He’s willing to make those sacrifices if he has to, but now he doesn’t feel like it’s the only way to do right. And he’s come to respect others outside of himself. Hell, you could argue that he didn’t respect Sora at all in KH1 and that there’s a side-arc of him doing so in KH2 and KH3, though he never gets over his protector nature with him. Riku’s expanded the love he’s able to give and come to appreciate who he’s become

He’s not perfect. But he tries. He still gets in his own head too much and ends up hurting others because of it, but he never blames them for it anymore. And that’s just… my thoughts on Riku. He’s a guy that struggled, a guy that still makes mistakes, but a guy who’s come a long way from the self-centered idiot who destroyed his home

[clowncroccharms]

Lotor, his Past, and his Deep Rooted Fears

I told you all I’d be writing a meta on Lotor so, and this includes the “death” of Narti and why I believe Lotor did such a thing to his beloved general. Again, I suck at writing meta’s so, forgive, me, for, how, awful, this, is. 

Let’s start with ye old grumpy assholes:

The Parents.

Specifically Honerva.

Let’s take a look at Alteas best alchemist when we first meet her:

She’s happy, stunning, she’s literally glowing. I mean she’s the cutest bean in the whole wide world and I would punch a wall for her. She looks so glad to meet this new guy whose working with the king of her planet and look at her smile!

Up to her wedding day we only see Honerva as happy as she can be! She’s never angry, never sad, she’s simply happy.

Things take a quick turn however.

After the wedding, we start seeing a real shift in Honerva, so much so that its hard to believe its the same happy Altean Alchemist we met in the beginning.

I really want to look at this. This is extremely crucial in my theory. When Honerva and Zarkon give little Allura a helmet. They. Look. Pissed. Usually when your giving your best bros little kid a present you’re happy about it. I’ve never seen anyone look this angry to be giving a little kid a gift, and I’ll be coming back to this because, fuck, its really important.

Let’s look at some more shots of Honerva and Zarkon post giving Allura the helmet.

Pissed 24/7, like I said. Unless their marriage just REALLY sucks and they REALLY hate giving presents to kids, something is going on here.

Which is where the this guy:

and the quintessence experimentations comes in.

Theres very little in this world that can lead a person to self destruction just to experiment with some mysterious purple goop that could very much kill them. I mean, its painful, kills you, drives you insane. Who would want that?

A very, very desperate parent.

And the big point of my theory? Lotor died. Lotor, either when he was born or soon after, died. This would explain the irritation at giving the childs helmet to Allura. That helmet was for their son, the son they lost. It also explains their anger and devastation afterwards, and Honerva’s desperate attempts to find use of quintessence. If this substance could basically bring metal lions to life to feel and bond, why couldn’t it bring her son back to life?

If you’ll notice, Lotor has white hair. Stark white hair. Who else? The royal Altean family, all who are linked to the lions and castle by a healthy amount of quintessence. As we can see by these three, a healthy dose of quintessance doesn’t affect the color of their skin, and we only see the color of their hair is odd. At first I was confused as to why, when seemingly no other alteans had white hair except the royal family, was it that Allura’s mom had white hair? Did Alfor have a thing for girls with white hair? Doubt it. Allura’s mother likely had hair of a different color, but being linked to the lions and the castle, as I firmly believe she controlled the castle before Allura, whitened her hair.

Haggar, who like her son had light purple skin, after she was brought back to life by the over exposure to Quintessence. We know Haggar had the same skin tone as the royal family before quintessence, and we know that the royal family has been exposed to quintessence, but its clear the sheer amount Haggar was exposed to, as her skin is a light purple and her marks have run down her face.

You could argue that Lotor’s skin comes from his father, but let’s take a look at Zarkon before and after his over exposure to quintessence. 

Before he is killed, Zarkon has a dark, dull tone to his skin, it could almost be gray. 

Afterwards it is a much lighter shade of purple, much closer to Lotors skin tone.

Now that I’ve paid a bit of attention to the parents, I want to talk about Lotor himself a bit. We know that Lotor is deceptive and calculated, he’s calm and hardly ever looses his cool. Well, thats what we saw in season 3. But now, in season 4, we see Lotor DESPERATE for a supply of quintessence. Actually, when Lotor and the generals approached the rift, Lotors facial expression unsettled me a bit. He looked crazed. For a moment, this leader who never looses his calm was completely insane. He was mad with need. 

Even Ezor seems a bit unsettled, not just at the rift, but at the change in her leader. I believe that Lotor knows exactly what happened to him, or at least that in order to survive he needs quintessence. You’re probably wondering why Lotor isn’t a zombie like his parents, and I believe that atones to manner of death. Zarkon and Haggar were linked to the quintessence in death, Lotor in life. Zarkon and Haggar are zombies, not really alive, but Lotor is alive. The quintessence brought death to Haggar and Zarkon, it brought life to Lotor. His death was natural, but he relies on the quintessence perhaps to stay alive, perhaps to stay sane.

Now, this brings me to my final point. 

Lotor and his relationship with his parents.

Now Joaquim tried to throw the “maybe theres an age difference between allura and lotor” card, but thats impossible. Haggar forgot Zarkon was her husband, therefore there was no zombie fuck and Lotor was born around the same time as Allura.

However, where Allura was raised by loving parents, Lotor was raised by a mad women who didn’t know he was her son...

and most likely exiled by a father who blamed him for taking away his wife. I believe Zarkons hate for Lotor, being that it is long running, is linked to Haggar. Haggar went insane to save her son, Zarkon blames his song for destroying his love.

Yet I assure you that Lotor was not immediately “exiled”, and I quote exiled because he had to have been in a situation where he didn’t age. Lotor had to have reached his current age before he was exiled, most likely 19-20 years old. So, with a psychotic witch and a ruthless father raising him, what happened? 

What did Lotor go through.

I want to raise you two examples.

Loki, adopted and then abused and mistreated by his father.

and Draco, beaten, cursed, and absolutely terrified of his father. 

Sound familiar?

But what does this have to do with Lotors actions and his murder of his general. Well, lets look closer at the examples I provided.

Two times we see Loki lash out at his father, once in his accidental rage and fear, the second, out of fear and rage, but intentional. Loki ends up killing his father because of the abuse he’d suffered.

Then we have Draco, who out of fear of his father and to protect himself and his mother, misidentified Harry, but also let his father be taken to prison. 

In both instances we see boys who are abused and mistreated lash out against their abusers out of fear.

Back to Lotor, if my previous theories are true, Lotor most certainly suffered abuse at the hands of a furious father and a manipulative, psychotic witch. In fact, I have no doubt about it. There is too much proof. Lotors rage against his father, his refusal to be compared to him doesn’t stem from Lotor thinking his dad’s a shitty leader. There’s some shit between those two. Lotor clearly knows Haggar is his mother, yet he shows no sympathy for her and is short and ill willed toward her. 

Here’s Lotors face when he realizes Nartis “betrayal”. This isn’t just a look of anger or rage, this is fear. The creases between his eyebrows and the widening of his eyes after this screen cap made me pause for a moment and look at him and acknowledge him. It hit me like a ton of bricks. He’s terrified. Thats when my theory of his premature death, resurrection, and abuse all come into play. These generals are all he has, he doesn’t lightly kill them. 

The absolute fear in his eyes actually shook me. He’s so scared of his parents. He knows that they’re evil and he knows it first hand. 

But unlike Draco and Loki, I don’t think there will be a redemption arc for Lotor, not a good one. Not like Zuko’s at least. He’s never been exposed to good as the others were, and he’s lived in fear for so long. That, and the influence of the quintessence won’t allow him the necessary properties to be completely good, which saddens me. I don’t think he has the chance or opportunity to be good, it would be nice, but it seems unlikely. Without the quintessence he will die, but as his parents lost their empathy and kindness with the quintessence, I believe he did as well. Lotor didn’t get the chance to be good, it was taken from him a a child. It really makes me sad. 

Anyways, I hope this was interesting? At least? Who knows. Thanks!

[luminarai]

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE THIZZEE AU !!! (still set in 1979)

let it be known that i spent most of my young teen years completely buried in fantasy and young adult novels of varying quality and this prompt just catapulted me years back in time (also weirdly reminding me that at some point i wrote half a novel about an awkward zombie dude who worked in a bookshop and fell in with a demon (?) with terrible eyesight? idk i forget the details) so i loved this prompt!

one day, i’ll be able to write a prompt about these two with less than 1000 words. but not today. also: the symbols mentioned are old viking sigil runes and magic staves. i had a norse mythology obsession as a child?? i was a weird kid

Dizzee’s going to die. He’s going to die and all he can think is, dad fucking told you so. And yes, intheory, art is worth dying for but in actual-fucking-reality, he’s really notready to die in an abandoned train yard, eaten by zombies.

Before the Virus, he’d watched a lot of zombie films, usually the badlyproduced cheap b-horror kinds, mostly with Ra Ra. He remembers thinking that themost ridiculous, unbelievable part was the fact that the dumb main characterssomehow always almost got caught by the zombies who moved at a near-glacialspeed. Biggest plot hole ever, he’d thought. Who’d be stupid enough to getcaught by zombies?

Turns out the answer to that question is, him, apparently. It also turns out that zombies ravaged by a rampantbrain virus causing necrosis and the unstoppable urge to eat human flesh move alot faster than those b-films had suggested. They’re also a lot scarier. Whatwith actually being real and all that.

Dizzee’s running as fast as his legs can take him, having already thrownaway his bag and all extra ballast possible, and he can still hear the growlingand moaning just a handful of feet behind him, the weird dragging slump-crunch of heavy limbs moving franticallyon gravel. One of the zombies he’d caught a glance of before running had beenmissing half its head, one arm hanging toolow by its side, a single milk-blue eye staring unthinkingly ahead. Dizzeesupposes it’s some sort of karmic irony that the zombie had been wearing a tornpolice uniform. 

But worst of all is the smell. It’s the stench that permeates most ofthe Old Bronx, the sickening reek of rotting flesh. Putrid with decay butsomehow still human and alive. It seemsto billow towards him like a fog, swirling around him like tendrils that tightentheir grip on his throat, forcing their way down his airways and making himgag.

The crumbling tunnel is pitch black around him and his lungs are burningbut Dizzee doesn’t want to die, he refusesto die, torn apart by zombies in No-Man’s Zone, leaving his mom and dad behindwithout ever truly knowing what has happened to him but being able tohorrifically guess at the truth.

That’s the moment that a voice calls, hushed, from a small, hiddenopening in the tunnel wall, “In here!” And it could easily be a trap but, hey,there’s at least a dozen zombies at his heels and Dizzee’s always believed intaking risks.

He grabs the hand offered to him and hurtles through the opening, slamminginto the wall of the small alcove it leads into. His heart is racing but hedoesn’t dare to breathe until the groaning and crunching outside start tosubside and then disappear.

The boy next to him, his saving grace, looks to be about Dizzee’s agebut that’s about where the resemblance ends; broad where Dizzee is lean, he’s builtfor close combat, and his long blonde hair has been swept into a tight braid. He’sa study in opposites – delicate silver jewelry in his ears, intricate andweirdly familiar symbols inked onto the pale skin of his arms, dark stains onhis jeans that Dizzee’s willing to bet have the color of rust in daylight. He’sgot a tight, focused look on his face but his features are soft; the lowlighting makes it impossible to tell but he’s probably got blue or green eyes andthose lips look like they’re a shade of pink that will haunt Dizzee for weeks. Byhis belt hangs an honest-to-god long-shafted war hammer.

Dizzee’s in fucking love.

“We’re lucky that the walkers can’t see for shit in the dark,” the boybreathes and finally looks at Dizzee. His mouth hangs open for a bit, then heblinks. “Uh. You. What are you doing out here?”

Dizzee should probably be more suspicious. This boy may be beautiful andhe may just have saved him, but he’s a complete stranger, and a stranger thathangs out in No-Man’s Zones and calls zombies walkers like he’s one of those rich assholes that escaped toAustralia before the Virus took over most of the country at that.

There’s a lot of things Dizzee should do. Like not go painting in No-Man’sZones. He never claimed to be smart.

“I was painting,” he breathes and then he’s rambling, words all butfalling out of his mouth without his permission. “On one of the old subwaycars, you know the ones that can be seen in the Safe Zone and all the way overto the Rubble Fields. I was going to write, nowis the time to unite the soul and the world, now is the time to see the sunlight.All those people out there, we’ve all lost everything but they deserve to know.They deserve to know that there’s hope even in this wretched place, that aslong as we keep going there will be light again. 

The boy is staring at him as he talks, eyes bright even in the darkness.When Dizzee finally runs out of breath, he says quietly, “You’re Rumi, aren’tyou,” in a way that isn’t a question. Then, “Holy shit. You’re amazing. You’relike the voice of the rebellion, you know? You’re fucking brilliant, man.” 

Dizzee’s been called a lot of things through the years. Weird, daydreamer,an alien – but brilliant? That’s a whole new ball game. “What,” he says. “Wait.You know who I am? Who are you?” 

“I’m nobody,” the boy says and shifts in – embarrassment? Is heblushing? Dizzee feels like he’s been hit by a train. “I just – I make thesesymbols around the city, you know? Like sigils, sort of, or. Yeah.”

Finally, Dizzee sees the bag of spray paint by their feet, quite similarto his own. It’s a rush when he realizes, “Oh my – you’re Thor, aren’t you? Iknew I could recognize those tats.”

Thor he’s – he’s almost an urban legend, of sorts. They all call him a phantombecause he seems to go through walls, travelling through all the zones of thecity, emblazoning runic symbols wherever he goes. They’ve taken on a languageof their own, signals of safe spaces, places to find food and clean water,where to find congregations of Rebels and Fighters. Dizzee doesn’t know howmany times he’s used those symbols to find his way through the city.

Thor smiles, seemingly helplessly, and Dizzee feels lighter than he hasin, well, years, since before they had run from the Bronx, since long beforethe Virus first started spreading through the alleys of the boroughs. He’s theoldest and seeing his siblings growing up scared, seeing his father’s voicegrow quiet through the years and his mother’s hands pale from worrying, was thefirst reason why he started spraying messages of hope on high walls and slantedrooftops around the city. But he hasn’t actually felt much hope until now,staring at this boy with the symbol of the Rebellion tattooed starkly on hisforearm.

Thor seems to shake himself. “We need to get out of here, before thewalkers come back,” he says, glancing out of the alcove. “I can get you back tothe Safe Zones. I know the way.”

Of course he does. Dizzee doesn’t actually swoon like an actress in anold black and white Hollywood film but it’s a close thing. Without eventhinking, he reaches out and grabs Thor’s hand in his, twining their fingerstogether. Both their palms are rough against the other’s but their hands slottogether like two pieces of a puzzle.

Thor swallows audibly and shoots him another one of those helpless, awedsmiles. Dizzee thinks he’ll never grow tired of that smile. There’s already animage of his next piece blooming behind his eyes. “Let’s go,” he says, and Thortugs him back into the tunnel and out into the night air.

[mikeyg1985-blog]

Hits & Misses: Some albums that I really wanted to review but I'm a slacker so . . .

Linkin Park - One More Light

 Everyone freaked out when Linkin Park decided to go mainstream pop with their first single, 'Heavy,' from their new album, One More Light.  I'll be honest, the change in sound made them unrecognizable and I rolled my eyes at the desperate attempt for relevancy. 

I liked Hybrid Theory; loved Meteora; and  still believe that Minutes to Midnight is one of the most underrated rock album of the 2000's. I didn't understand what the big deal of them going 'pop' was - to me, they had always been a pop band or at least embraced their pop sensibilities. Sure, hiring Justin Bieber's writers isn't the most 'rock' thing to do - but there's no need for all of the homophobic slurs being shouted at them by their 'fans.' 

I anticipated One More Light because I trust Linkin Park - I've enjoyed all of their albums (except for The Hunting Party - which I totally forgot existed).  One More Light is lighter pop version of Minutes to Midnight minus the immediate memorable performances. I don't think this album will be considered underrated nor do I think that anything on it will be considered a classic in 5 years for their army. But I have to say that I am on board for whatever this little 'experiment' is for them - as long as it doesn't last more than one album cycle. Because, while the album is littered with Top 10 studio gimmicks, Linkin Park is at the heart of each song.

My biggest critique is that there should have been no need to collaborate with Pusha T or Stormzy on 'Good Goodbye' when they have Mike Shinoda. 

Also, they were smart clocking the album at 35 minutes.

Check out: 'Nobody Can Save Me,' 'Heavy,' 'One More Light'

Grade: B+

Father John Misty "Pure Comedy"

I joined the Father John Misty bandwagon really late - at least 9 months after I Love You, Honeybear was released. It made my top albums list of 2015 and I stand by that. However, I really haven't been able to connect with Pure Comedy much at all. 

I like the 'we're too connected to entertainment and that's how Donald Trump got elected President and we're all going to hell' idea, I dig his take on being Elton John  - but Misty also happens to be an asshole who makes good music. Too much of his own narcissism fills the last half of the album and I haven't returned to Pure Comedy since.

I respect the challenge of knowing that everything we know is wrong - but I just don't feel like being lectured for an hour and fourteen minutes nor do I find diving into Tillman's psyche for thirteen minutes that interesting.

Check out: "Pure Comedy," "Total Entertainment Forever," and "Ballad of a Dying Man." 

GRADE: D-

Blondie - Pollinator

Blondie's new album, Pollinator, should have instantly made my top albums list. First single, "Fun," was pretty pleasing and buzz singles, "Long Time" and "My Monster" were just as good. I liked the idea that Debbie and company had a lot of help from newer acts because honestly - they needed it. The days of Blondie releasing albums like Parallel Lines and Eat to the Beat are long gone and while there are awkward moments ('Already Naked') the album is harmless fun. 

First track, "Doom or Destiny," perfectly blends Debbie Harry and Joan Jett's vocals and starts the album off with a bang that continues for roughly five songs ('Long Time', 'Already Naked,' 'Fun,' 'My Monster').

So what could possibly kill an entire album, you may ask? Mmmmmmm . . . how about vocals that completely out of tune with the music. I don't know exactly who didn't let Blondie know that her vocals were off key throughout the whole song, but they should be fired and blacklisted from the music industry. Part of me also wonders if they accidentally released the wrong version of the song. And for the life of me, I have no idea why this wasn't pointed out by critics across the board. 'Best Day Ever' is un-listenable and kind of ruins the rest of the album which is full of mixed results. 

Check out: The first 4 songs.

GRADE: D

 Harry Styles - Harry Styles

I was never a fan of One Direction but I was a little intrigued to hear Harry Styles' self-titled debut album.  I mean, honestly out of all of the members putting out solo efforts, he was the only one who seemed remotely able to pull of an entire solo album.

I think releasing 'Sign of the Times' as the first solo single was pretty risky. Not only is it a ballad but it also shares the same title of a beloved Prince album/single - and I just thought that was a ballsy move. I didn't love 'Sign of the Times' - it had the same two melody lines during its five minute length - but I was a little bit more intrigued to hear the whole album.

Harry Styles is kind of a miss for me although I think it is an enjoyable album.  It sounds like absolutely nothing that is being played on the radio today and also sheds any Top 40 sounds. What it does sound like is Pink Floyd, Elton John, John Lennon, U2 and Oasis. I'm kind of surprised that Pink Floyd hasn't filed a suit for 'Meet Me in the Hallway' ripping off 'Breathe (In The Air)'. 

It's not just that if I want to listen to Pink Floyd, I'll listen to Pink Floyd or if I wanted to listen to John Lennon, I'll listen to John Lennon - it's that the lyrical depth of those artist and Harry Styles is just so drastic - and at the end of Harry Styles I've not learned anything about him beyond his musical influences - and that's a missed opportunity to really disclose who he really is. 

Check out: 'Sign of the Times'

GRADE: C

Paramore - After Laughter

Paramore's new album, After Laughter, came out of nowhere. Four years after their self-titled fourth album, first single 'Hard Times' showed up and After Laughter was released a little over a month later - it all seemed a bit rushed and I was convinced that After Laughter was nothing more than an obligation to their record label in order to fulfill their contract . . . well . . . for Hailey anyway.

It's sad - but Paramore has a rocky history regarding the comings and goings of their lineup and while it's easy to point the finger at Williams for basically the entire original lineup to walk away from a band at its peak - it kind of feels like Williams is truly the one who has sacrificed. I mean, she technically could have gone solo after Paramore's debut, All We Know is Falling and kept the fame and fortune to herself - but she didn't.

I initially passed on After Laughter. If another band claims evolution by ripping off the '80s, I'm gonna scream. But what is fascinating about After Laughter is its stark contrast of sunny beats and sullen lyrics. Williams truly seems to be over being the jolly frontman and isn't trying to hide behind orange hair and a smile. Instead, she gets pretty fucking honest that she's exhausted by the drama and seemed downright sad during the band's Beats1 interview with Zane Lowe. 

In order to really appreciate After Laughter, you have to really know the history of Paramore . . . pretty much the same as hearing the self-titled third album. On its surface, it's about ten tracks of 'Ain't It Fun' and a few 'The Only Exception.' But if you peel back production, there's a lot going on with Williams that she's trying to work out through the only therapy she knows - songwriting. 

There are a few missteps. 'Rose-Colored Boy' is kind of annoying and 'No Friend' really isn't a great idea at all.

Check out: 'Fake Happy,' 'Told You So,' '26,' 'Pool'

GRADE: A-

 Dreamcar - Dreamcar

For those who don't know - the guys from No Doubt and AFI's Davey Havok got together and formed a supergroup for all the emo kids in their 30s. Dreamcar is a fun ride and probably an album you could blast all summer long and not get bored with it.  

The album's first single, 'Kill For Candy,' is a sugar-induced bop that could very well be a sleeper hit and the rest of the album follows suit. There isn't a bad song on Dreamcar, although there are references to 'candy,' 'candy girls,' 'girls on the charts,' 'dead girls,' and . . . 'gum boys'. I'm not sure what any of that means. 

But the reason that Dreamcar works so well is that it's a low stakes album. Davey and the boys have made their names and their money. Dreamcar is pure adoration and tribute to '80s influences - most notably Duran Duran.  And it's an album that my kids can stomach and ask to listen to constantly. 

Check out: all of it.

GRADE: B

LP - Lost on You

Thank the Lord! LP has finally blown up in everywhere but the US. Lost on You has been released overseas since fall of 2016 and finally making its way stateside albeit with absolutely no promotion from Vagrant Records. 

I love LP's music. Her last album, Forever for Now, was a top contender for the #1 spot of my top albums list in 2014. I've followed her since and know that the song, 'Lost On You' is a few years old. But, a Greek radio station started playing the song and all of a sudden LP was a bonafide star! 

The U.S. version of Lost On You has added some tracks and is a cohesive set that proves how much of an underrated talent LP truly is. We (the States) really need to get on the ball and give this artist the recognition LP deserves because it is high time 'Lost on You' saturated our radio stations.

And Vagrant needs to release this gem on vinyl, pronto!

Check out: 'Lost On You', 'Muddy Waters', 'Other People'

GRADE: A

Incubus - 8

I feel like 2017 is the year for all of my favorite early 2000's bands to make comeback albums. 

S.C.I.E.N.C.E., Make Yourself and Morning View all have their places in my Favorite Albums of All-Time list, but their last three releases have really left a lot to be desired. There seemed to have been a hunger that just kind of died down in them and their last album, If Not Now, When pretty much put me to sleep. 

I wasn't impressed by first single, 'Nimble Bastard', at all. It reminded me of anything Alanis Morissette released after Jagged Little Pill - trying way too hard and never ever reaching the same kind of genius. Thankfully (and I can't believe I'm saying this) Skrillex got his hands on the album and beefed it up a bit. The first few bars of first track, 'No Fun' actually sound like Incubus from their S.C.I.E.N.C.E. days.  Whether the album had a drastic change from Skrillex's collaborative effort, I don't know but 8 is a welcome return from a band I've been waiting to light a fire under their ass. 

There's nothing too surprising here - no political statements - Incubus plays it pretty safe. But, I think that's okay because 8 sounds like a band that has finally rediscovered that passion, confidence and drive (HA!) that once made them a great band. 

Check out: 'State of the Art,' 'Loneliest,' 'Throw Out The Map'

GRADE: B+